طلاقیں کیوں ہوتی ہیں؟…تحریر: دانیہ امتیاز

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talaqشادی ایک خوبصورت بندھن ہے، مگر یہ جس قدر پیارا اور مضبوط بندھن ہے اسی قدر نازک بھی ہے۔ ہلکی ہلکی ضربیں بھی اس کی مضبوط ڈور کو ناقابل تلافی نقصان پہنچاتی ہیں، یہیں وجہ ہے کہ اس بندھن کو توجہ کی اشد ضرورت ہے۔ میاں بیوی کے رشتے کو دنیا کا سب سے حسین رشتہ تصور کیا جاتا ہے۔ جوانی کے دور سے گزرتے ہوئے لڑکے اور لڑکیاں اپنے آنے والے مستقبل کے لیے کئی تقریب خواب دیکھتے ہیں۔ اپنے ہونے والے شریک سفر کا نقش اپنی آنکھوں میں سجاتے ہیں، بہت سی امیدیں باندھتے ہیں، اس معاملے میں لڑکیاں زیادہ حساس ہوتی ہیں۔ یہ ایک سنہری دور ہوتا ہے جس میں ہر نسل، ہر مذہب سے تعلق رکھنے والا تقریباً ایک ہی کیفیت سے گزرتا ہے۔ شادی کے وقت سب کچھ بہت اچھا لگتا ہے، پہلے پہل زندگی حسین خواب سی محسوس ہوتی ہے مگر بعد ازاں چند ایک کے علاوہ زندگی کی حقیقت کھلنا شروع ہوجاتی ہے۔ جوں جوں حقائق سامنے آتے ہیں تو ایک دوسرے کی کمیاں اور کوتاہیاں بھی نظر آنے لگتی ہیں۔ آہستہ آہستہ بات ناراضگیوں اور جھگڑوں تک پہنچ جاتی ہے اور اگر بات مزید بگڑ جائے تو معاملہ طلاق تک پہنچ جاتا ہے اور پھر لمحوں میں سب کچھ بکھر جاتا ہے۔ شریعت اسلامیہ نے طلاق کے متعلق کہا ہے کہ وہ واحد حلال چیز جو اللہ کو سخت نہ پسند ہے۔ تاہم طلاق کو ہر زمانے میں برا سمجھا جاتا رہا ہے۔ پہلے کسی خاندان میں طلاق کا سانحہ ہوتا تو پورا خاندان ، برادری دہل جاتی تھی، طلاق کی خبر سننے والے حیرت و تاسف کے مارے انگلیاں دانتوں تلے دبالیتے تھے۔ مگر آج آئے دن طلاق کے قصے سننے میں آتے ہیں، کسی کی طلاق ہوجانا عام سی بات بن گئی ہے۔ لمحۂ فکریہ یہ ہے کہ ہمارے معاشرے میں طلاق کا تناسب دن بہ دن بڑھتا جارہا ہے جو دیمک کی طرح اس معاشرے کے سکون کو چاٹ رہا ہے۔ غور طلب بات یہ ہے کہ طلاقوں کا تناسب اونچلی سطح کے طبقے کے ساتھ ساتھ درمیانے اور نچلی سطح کے طبقے میں بھی تیزی سے بڑھ رہا ہے۔ ایک ہی دن میں طلاق کے کئی کیس درج ہو رہے ہیں۔ محتاط اعداد وشمار کے مطابق صرف شہر قائد میں 2005ء سے 2008ء تک تقریبا 75,000 مقدمات کراچی کی خاندانی عدالتوں میں رجسٹرڈ کئے گئے تھے۔ 2008 اور 2011ء کی مدت کے درمیان طلاق کے 124,141 مقدمات دائر کئے گئے، جبکہ صرف 2010ء میں 40,410 علیحدگی کے مقدمات شہر کی خاندانی عدالتوں میں رجسٹرڈ کئے گئے اور سال 2014ء کے اختتام تک اس تعداد میں مزید اضافہ ہوا ہے۔ ضرورت اس امر کی ہے کہ بڑھتی ہوئی طلاق کے واقعات کی وجوہات کو جاننا چاہئے اور پھر خاندانوں کی بہتری کے لیے سدباب کیا جائے۔ بڑھتی ہوئی طلاق کی شرح میں اضافہ کی بڑی وجہ عدم برداشت کا پایا جانا اور غیر ضروری شک کرنا ہے۔ من حیث القوم ہم عدم برداشت کا شکار ہیں جس کے نتائج طلاق جیسی وبا کی صورت میں سامنے آرہے ہیں۔ طلاقوں کی بڑھتی شرح ہمارے معاشرے کی جڑوں کو کھوکلا اور کمزور کر رہی ہیں۔ زندگی کے ہر موڑ اور قدم پر برداشت و تحمل سے کام لینا ضروری ہے۔ میاں بیوی جیسے نازک رشتے میں براداشت کا ہونا بے حد ضروری ہے تک ایک دوسرے کی کو تاہیوں کو نظر انداز کر کے برداشت کا مظاہرہ نہیں کیا جائے تو کسی بھی رشتے کو قائم رکھنا مشکل ہوجاتا ہے۔ کوئی بھی شخص مکمل نہیں ہوتا ، ہر شخص میں کوئی نہ کوئی خامی ضروری ہوتی ہے، چنانچہ ٹھنڈے دل و دماغ سے ایک دوسرے کی خامیوں، کوتاہیوں کو نظر انداز کرکے خوبیاں اور اچھائیاں تلاش کرنی چاہئیں۔ ایک پرسکون زندگی کے لیے عورت کے ساتھ ساتھ مرد کو بھی صبرو تحمل سے کام لینا چاہیے۔ ایک دوسرے پر غیر ضروری شک و شبہ کے باعث طلاقوں میں ضافہ دیکھنے میں آیا ہے۔ازدواجی زندگی میں میاں بیوی کے درمیان کمال اعتماد اور بھروسہ ہی اس ڈور کی مضبوطی کا ضامن ہوتا ہے۔ تشویشناک بات یہ ہے کہ اولاد کی موجودگی کے باوجود معمولی وجوہات کی بنا پر علیحدگیاں ہورہی ہیں۔ علیحدگی کے بعد عورت اپنے ماں باپ کے گھر چلی جاتی ہے مرد بھی نئی زندگی شروع کردیتا ہے اور اس میں سب زیادہ متاثر ان کی اولاد ہوتی ہے۔ طلاق کی بڑھتی ہوئی شرح میں عدم برداشت اور شک و شبہ کے علاوہ دینی احکامات سے دوری، معدیت پرستی، ایک دوسرے کو سمجھنے کی کوشش نہ کرنا، بے اعتمادی، دیگر لوگوں کی میاں بیوی کے معاملات میں بے جا مداخلت اور دوسروں کی باتوں پر بلا تصدیق یقین کرلینا شامل ہیں، جبکہ ڈراموں میں طلاق کو اہم ترین موضوع کے طور پر پیش کیا جارہا ہے جو کہ گھر بسانے اور مضبوط رکھنے کے حوالے سے رہنمائی کی بجائے طلاق کے لیے ماحول سازگار بنانے کی نئی تراکیب متعارف کرائی جارہی ہیں۔ اس بارے میں میڈیا کو اپنی روش بدلنی پڑے گی۔ دور حاضر میں انسان نے اپنی زندگی کو خود بے سکون بنایا ہوا ہے جب تک ہم خود امن و سکوں کی وجوہات کو نہیں ڈھونڈیں گے، تب تک کسی بھی رشتے کو صحیح طرح سے نہیں نبھا پائیں گے۔ 

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